I don’t live in the same town with some of my grandchildren, which means I only get to see them every year or so. Sometimes it’s even longer. I’m not happy about that … how far we live from one another … but the infrequency of our visits does give me a better perspective on something they likely don’t see: how much they’re growing and changing.

Growth is something that happens so gradually we can hardly detect it, especially in ourselves and the people closest to us. We talk about kids “growing up so fast,” but that isn’t really true, is it? If we checked them every day, we’d see no difference at all from the day before. Yet, at some point, all kids move from one stage of development to another. Their growth, while incrementally small from day to day, is still occurring, whether we notice it or not.

The times we’re most apt to notice are when we try to fit our kids into the same clothes they wore a year before. Their arms stick out past the end of the sleeve, they can’t button up the front of the shirt anymore, or their old pants don’t quite cover their legs, like they did a while back. As kids get close to their teen years we notice change in other ways too. When we suggest an activity that once thrilled them we now get a bored roll of the eyes. Then it becomes obvious: They aren’t the same. They’re growing up.

For every child, their development begins at the smallest and simplest level possible: a single cell. From that one cell (or seed in the case of plant life), growth begins. Over time, incredibly complex and sophisticated systems emerge in accordance with the DNA code contained within the cell. When everything is in place, working together in perfect harmony by God’s design, a baby comes forth and begins the amazing process of “growing up.”

From Within

The thing I want us to think about is HOW things grow. It’s something that happens in response to an internal power, not an external force. While environmental factors influence the speed and quality of a child’s growth pattern, they don’t cause it. The impetus for growth comes from within the child, from the seed of God’s life that He planted within them. Kids don’t have to go to school to learn how to grow and develop. If this natural process is not hindered by something harmful, it will take place in perfect order to God’s glory. The child is the recipient of His grace and supply and can take no credit for the changes taking place within him.

Kids don’t “decide” to be taller or grow size 11 feet. They don’t have any control over whether their hair is dark or light, curly or straight. And while their weight and intelligence may be influenced by what they eat and how much they study, their genetic predisposition towards learning and putting on weight is still coded in their DNA. While we may not like everything about our physical development, we have to admit that God’s design is a true marvel. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” as the psalmist said.

One of the parables Jesus told about the kingdom of God in Mark 4 features grain and how it grows. He explains, “A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. ALL BY ITSELF the soil produces grain – first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head” (vv. 26-28). It’s a process, Jesus points out, that comes from within the seed of the plant. Those who tend it may not understand what is happening, may even be mystified by it. But growth, if unhindered by some outside force, will take place. This holds true in both physical, natural life and also in the spiritual, supernatural life we have in Christ.

When Jesus was growing up in Joseph’s household He went through all the usual stages of childhood development. Mary likely forgot at times what had been said about Him when He was a baby. Both Simeon and Anna recognized Him as the Messiah of Israel when He was brought to the Temple to be circumcised shortly after He was born (Luke 2:21-38). In verse 40, Luke writes: “The child [Jesus] grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him.”

However, like most parents, Mary and Joseph didn’t see it happening day by day. It took an extraordinary event to open their eyes and remind them of the special calling on His life. When they took Him, along with their other children, to the Temple to celebrate the Feast of the Passover when He was 12 years old, they were taken aback when Jesus took the initiative to leave their company and seek out Israel’s spiritual leaders. When they found Him in the Temple, He was conversing with them with an incredible depth of scriptural understanding. His spiritual maturity had developed without them noticing, and when they saw it they were “astonished” (see vv. 41-52).

Becoming Like Him

When we receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior, Scripture says, we are “born again” by God’s Spirit. A seed of His life, His character, is implanted in our hearts and from that point on, we begin the long and laborious process of becoming like Jesus. God’s desire for us as His children is that we grow up spiritually and become like Him in our character and way of life. In Ephesians 4 Paul says our goal is to “grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ” (v. 15) and “to be made new in the attitude of [our] minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (vv. 23-24).

We understand the end goal, and for all serious disciples, it’s something we long for and desire to achieve. But most Christians (me included) spend most of their lives lamenting how far short we fall most days. We want to be radically different from the point of conversion, and we can’t understand why our spiritual growth isn’t more obvious. Didn’t God promise that if we gave our hearts to Him He would make us brand new? (2 Corinthians 5:17). We know we’ve been given the Holy Spirit to live inside of us, so what’s the problem? Why aren’t we more like Jesus already?

While God did promise to make us new creatures, He gave us no promises about how long the process would take. I’ve checked the Scriptures pretty thoroughly, and nowhere does He promise to accomplish it quickly. Like our physical development, our spiritual growth is dependent upon many factors and the process of maturity can’t be hurried. It will happen if certain conditions are met, but often it is far slower than we’d like it to be. As George Matheson observed, “We conquer – not in any brilliant fashion. We conquer by continuing.”

If we don’t work against what God wants to do in us by willful sin and if we get the spiritual nutrition, exercise, and rest we need, we can trust that we will grow and mature in Christ. Each day that we walk with Jesus, following His ways and submitting to His plans for us, we are growing … even though we are likely to be unaware of the progress we’re making.

And then one day, something happens – something that challenges our character. Maybe someone hurts or offends us. Maybe we are hit with a shocking medical diagnosis. Perhaps our life takes a quick turn in a direction we don’t like and we have to react before we even have time to think about it. That’s when we know … we aren’t the same person we used to be! It often takes a crisis or a special set of circumstances to show us how much we’ve grown spiritually.

Have you ever been pleasantly surprised by how you reacted to something? It was as if you tried to put on some clothes you wore a while back and you suddenly realized they don’t fit you anymore. Or maybe certain worldly amusements or goals no longer hold the same fascination they once did. And you suddenly realize … I’ve grown up in that area! I am more like Jesus in my attitude than I used to be. And at those times, it’s perfectly fine to feel happy about that. Because you realize it is God’s work within you that has produced the growth. You can’t take credit for it.

Even as we are growing in Christ, we can still sin and fall back into old patterns from our old nature. Sometimes we’re disappointed by how we respond to a stressful situation. But the way we know we’ve grown is found in how we respond to our bad choices. Those who have the seed of new life in them will be quick to admit their sin and immediately turn to Jesus for forgiveness and restoration. They aren’t happy until they’re back on track and serving Him with a joyful heart. The nice thing about spiritual growth is that often we grow more from our mistakes than we do from our successes. How gracious our Father is, to make sure that we can still learn and grow even when we mess up!

Enjoying the Journey

We can choose to be discouraged by how long the process of spiritual growth takes and beat ourselves up for not being as mature as we’d like to be. Or, we can do what kids do. We can enjoy the stage of development we find ourselves in right now, and trust that we will develop more mature patterns of thought and behavior as we continue to walk with God. Till then, we’ll glorify Him right where we are.

How many ten-year-olds do you know who beat themselves up for not being twenty years old? If they’re normal, they’ll live life fully right where they are. After all, they [hopefully] have a loving family in which to learn and develop. They are given grace when they mess up. They don’t have to be fully mature to enjoy a good relationship with their parents and siblings. While they may look forward to the day when they’ll be more mature and take on more responsibility within the family, they don’t let that spoil the good life they have right now.

I need to be reminded of this when I get down on myself as an inadequate, immature disciple of Christ. My heavenly Father is in the process of growing me up in Him and all my wishing and striving can’t hurry the process along, so why can’t I just enjoy how far He was already taken me? I’ve grown a lot since I first became His. I’ve “outgrown my clothes” several times since then, so I know I’m changing. He has put His powerful seed of holiness within me and if I can just trust Him and not work against His purposes, I can rest in the fact that “He who has begun a good work in [me] will complete it” (Philippians 1:6).

Faith in our own ability to grow up spiritually won’t work. Our faith and confidence has to be in the One who has the power to change our lives and has promised to bring us to maturity. As we yield to His work in us, we can be certain that we’re growing, even if the process seems painfully slow.

I like Andrew Murray’s prescription for holy living: “I have learned to place myself before God every day. He has given me the blessed assurance that He, the everlasting God, has guaranteed His own work in me.” His powerful seed within me will be the means of my growth as I yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Yes, we should strive for excellence in our walk with God. We shouldn’t be satisfied with where we are spiritually – we should always want more of Jesus to shine through our lives. We need to place ourselves in the best possible place, by our choices, to grow and mature. But even in our present state we can rejoice in the knowledge that we’re not where we once were! By God’s grace, we’ve made progress!

When we get impatient with the process of spiritual growth we can take heart in God’s promise to Israel. Even in their backslidden state, He was at work to bring them to a place of restoration and spiritual fruitfulness. Because He loves us so much, He will never give up on us until we reflect Him in every area of our lives.

I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

(Isaiah 43:19 NLT)

“Do you not see it?” He asks. That’s the problem! Often we can’t see it, and because of that we feel discouraged. But we mustn’t become weary in seeking Him and doing good. “For in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9).

I hope you’ll stop “beating yourself up” for not being perfect yet. Try to relax and enjoy the process of change and development, even if it does take more time than we’d like. Growing up in God’s household is fun, if we can take our eyes off ourselves and put them on the only perfect One among us!