Try as we may, even Christians have a hard time tuning out our culture’s attitudes and values. We know we aren’t supposed to “let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould” (Romans 12:1, Phillips translation), but … over and over again … we find ourselves being drawn in. Instead of measuring ourselves against God’s standards, we let the world tell us what is cool, acceptable, and praiseworthy.  And there‘s the rub. If we take the Scriptures seriously, and try to obey what they say, we find ourselves in the unenviable position of being at odds with our culture. Then we face a difficult choice: Either we see our uncoolness as a good thing, or we allow our inadequacies (in the world’s eyes) to make us feel discontented and discouraged.

Jesus didn’t hold out any false expectations for us. He told His disciples to expect rejection and misunderstanding from the culture around them. “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you” (John 15:19). We can’t afford to kid ourselves. When we follow Him, we choose to remove ourselves from the value system we once belonged to. And as we identify with Jesus in our lifestyle, the people of the world will respond to us as they did to Him.

This is what He meant when He said His disciples would have to take up their cross to follow Him. It’s a cross of being different from those around us. It’s a cross of not fitting in, not being considered cool or relevant or trendy. When it happens to us as Jesus said it would – when “people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me” – then we are supposed to rejoice and be glad. Why? Because we’re in good company. That’s how God’s people have always been treated.

I’m not saying it’s easy to rejoice and see this kind of treatment as a good thing. I struggle with the desire to be accepted and valued as much as anyone else. But if we don’t learn how to deal with these feelings in a godly way, we allow Satan to buffet and torment us. And that keeps us from being joyful and effective ambassadors for God in a needy world.

One area I struggle with a lot is how much our culture values levity and rejects someone who is “too serious.” Being seen as too serious is a kiss of death in most social settings.  That’s because everyone wants to be entertained or amused these days. Even talks about serious subjects (like sermons) need to be laced with humor to make them more palatable. One of our favorite lines to say to one another is “Lighten up!” … often delivered (ironically) as a very serious rebuke.

As much as I’d like to be carefree and lighthearted in my approach to life, I find my default reaction to most things is to take it seriously. And that creates a conflict in me as I wrestle with what is versus what I’d like it to be. I regularly tell myself to “lighten up” and it works for a while, but the first thing I know, I’m back at it … seriously assessing the relative value of something and pondering what the “right” response to a situation would be.

I remember being rather somber even as a child. I wasn’t unhappy with life; I was just more serious than some of my friends. And I remember adults wanting to “fix me” … help me become less sensitive and serious. Why? Because our culture didn’t value those personality traits. Maybe in some other culture my seriousness would have been seen as a good thing, but from an early age I felt the shame and discouragement of being different from the norm. How I longed to be praised for how I responded to life, but even those who loved me seemed to consider this part of my personality as something to be tolerated, not applauded.

The funny thing is (no pun intended), when I look at the Bible I don’t see the same attitude towards a serious frame of mind that we find in our culture today. Instead of telling everyone in Israel to “lighten up,” God often rebuked them for their careless attitudes about sin and their relationship with Him.

Sure, He wanted them to set aside time for special holidays that were designed for having fun – times of feasting, relaxing, and rejoicing together about the good life they enjoyed under Him. He also wanted them to know joy every day as they walked with Him. But joy from God’s perspective was very different from the kind of yuck-it-up entertainment we seek today. It came out of a serious regard for His commands and a heart eager to please Him. If His people got careless in their pursuit of Him, getting caught up in other things and forgetting the importance of their covenant, He encouraged them to repent and mourn, to weep and lament.

We see a similar pattern in the New Testament as well. In our relationship with Christ we find joy and peace. But careless living and speaking are not seen as entertaining, something to be celebrated. Being the life of the party, with an arsenal of stinging one-liners, was not a high value to Paul or the other apostles. In fact, Jesus told His disciples, “Men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken” (Matt. 12:36).

Paul wrote to Titus, “In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned” (2:7-8). It’s the grace of God, he pointed out, that teaches us to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts and to live “soberly, righteously, and godly” in this present age (v. 12).

Sure, we’re encouraged to rejoice and to give thanks for our great salvation. Jesus said that as we abide in Him we will be filled with His joy. But nowhere in the New Testament does it say we shouldn’t take seriously our responsibilities as God’s ambassadors in the world. The writer to the Hebrews warned them/us to “pay more careful attention to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away” (2:1). In his letter Peter said that we’ve spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do. Now, as God’s beloved children, we are to “be clear minded and self-controlled [sober]” so that we can pray and love one another deeply (1 Peter 4:7-8).

Does this sound like justification on my part … an attempt to feel better about my serious personality? I hope not! Because I’m not trying to make a case that everyone needs to be like me. I know “there is a time for everything … a time to weep and a time to laugh” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). I know I need to continue to find appropriate times to laugh more. Just because I’m wired more to the serious side, that doesn’t mean I don’t need to cultivate a godly sense of humor.

We all know the proverb “A cheerful heart is good medicine” (Proverbs 17:22). But Scripture also says that “the laughter of fools” is “like the crackling of thorns under the pot” (Eccl. 7:6). This kind of laughter is worthless and meaningless. An old German proverb says “One shows his character by what he laughs at.” I’m working on discerning when I truly do need to “lighten up!”

Hopefully we can all find the balance between enjoying life and yet not neglecting or ignoring the truly serious issues of life. As C. S. Lewis said, “Joy is the serious business of heaven.” I don’t believe we can be “too serious” about our relationship with God. Learning to laugh at ourselves is always okay. But learning how to live “soberly, righteously and godly” in this present age is not a laughing matter. We need to seriously pursue a holy lifestyle even when the world views us as killjoys or deadly dull. We need to see it as okay when we don’t fully fit into our entertainment obsessed culture.

Who wants to be known as the “wet blanket” or the seriously uncool one who “can’t have any fun”? Yet, as Christ’s disciples, we may be called at times to assume this role, and we have to be okay with that. Jesus promised blessing to those who were willing to be different for His sake. “Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven” (Luke 6:21-23).

There are lots of ways this plays out in our culture today. You may be called on to embrace modesty or humility in the face of flagrant flaunting of human skills and attributes. You may be required to turn away from inappropriate jesting or humor that dishonors God or other people. Or you may have to risk rejection by standing up for truth in the face of politically correct viewpoints. Whatever the situation, we must choose friendship with God over friendship with the world.

If we live as He did, we will stand out from the culture around us, but that’s okay. Scripture says this is how it should be. We are, after all, “children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation … [and we are expected to] shine like stars in the universe as [we] hold out the word of life” (Philippians 2:15-16).

Where does constant joy abound?

In the restless social round,

Entertainment in excess,

Worldly charm or cleverness?

Fleeting are their seeming gains.

Joy is found where Jesus reigns.

-Hallie Smith Bixby