We all know that God’s ways are not like the ways of the world. Yet we tend to continue to operate like everything depends on us. We polish our skills and groom our appearance so we can be more appealing to our peers. But if we’re fortunate, every once in a while God allows us to see for ourselves how futile these efforts are for success in His kingdom. Sometimes He reduces us to such an extent that we cannot rely on our own strength or resources. Only then do we fully understand that it’s “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Almighty” (Zechariah 4:6).

Not long ago I was scheduled to speak at a conference. Public speaking is something that always makes me nervous, but I loved the topic and was looking forward to sharing with the ladies. I expected to experience some sleeplessness prior to the event, but nothing like I encountered. I couldn’t manage to fall asleep before 4 am the entire week before. Each night I’d head to bed with the highest hopes of finally catching up. (After all, how long can something like this last??) I’d try different pre-bed routines and bedtimes, but nothing worked. I couldn’t even nap during the day. It was as if my body had forgotten HOW to fall asleep. It was a fast … not from food, but from sleep.

As the week wore on, I became more and more concerned. Why wasn’t God helping me? Since it was in obedience to Him that I had agreed to speak, why was He allowing this to happen? By Saturday morning I was utterly depleted, both mentally and physically. As I dressed for the event I considered what I should do. I couldn’t bear to cancel, knowing how much the organizers were counting on me to be there. I wasn’t sick, after all. Just weak. But would my talk be a disaster? 

Of course, I was praying throughout the week and enlisting the help of others to pray for me. I knew the promises of Scripture—that He is “an ever-present help in time of need.” I clung to this and other verses when Satan taunted me. On Friday night he told me that what I’d prepared wasn’t what the women needed to hear—it was too simplistic. Since I couldn’t hope to deliver it anyway, given how exhausted I was, I might as well stay home.

But I refused to give in to the doubts. When the women filed into the room on Saturday, I looked at their sweet, expectant faces and suddenly everything changed. I was stunned by how the darkness that had engulfed me for days disappeared. I glanced at my carefully prepared notes on the table beside me, but I didn’t really need them. As I shared the illustrations and scriptures that sprang to mind, it was as if God’s Spirit took charge and enabled me to deliver a message tailor made for those in the room. When I finished, I realized I’d experienced what Scripture calls “the anointing of the Holy Spirit” for a spiritual task. It was something I’d heard about from others and read about in Scripture but had never experienced for myself. What a glorious and surprising ending to my horrible week!

Human reasoning would tell us that the powerful always win, not the weak. But what does the Bible show us? Israelite slaves were delivered when they were at their weakest point—caught between the Egyptian army and the Red Sea. Pharaoh’s 600 chariots made no difference at all! When Gideon fought the Midianites (Judges 7), the Lord told him to trim his army of 32,000 men down to 300–only then could God bring him victory. There are too many instances of God working through people who were the “least likely to succeed” in the world’s eyes to mention. To be reduced to a place of weakness, disadvantage, or humiliation is an honor for those who follow the Lord because they are the ones who get to experience His power manifested through them. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

No one in Scripture better illustrates this spiritual principle than Jesus himself. Through submitting to the humiliation of the cross, He accomplished His greatest victory—defeating sin and death. “Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow” (Philippians 2:9-10). Isaiah foretold the outcome of His apparent “defeat” at the cross. “After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; … I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong” (Isaiah 53:11-12). To follow Jesus means more than just enjoying the benefits He won for us. It involves learning to depend upon God’s delivering power in our moments of weakness, to be willing to suffer short term pain for long term gain. This is why throughout Christian history His disciples have embraced weakness by engaging in seasons of fasting, prayer, and separation from the world. These practices don’t “win Brownie points” with God; His love for us remains constant. It’s a choice we make to empty ourselves of whatever might hinder our spiritual effectiveness and keep us from fully yielding to God.

I’m grateful for my unusual “fast” that reminded me of this valuable principle. When we cannot rely on ourselves, we learn how faithful He is. What spiritual challenges are you facing right now? Will you embrace your weakness so you can see God’s mighty delivering power work through you? Truly, “My grace is sufficient for you.” (2 Corin. 12:9)

My Father, I know that I need to be reminded of this truth often. I get caught up in the ways of the world and I forget that all the resources of heaven are at my disposal if only I will humble myself and let you take control. Empty me of whatever hinders me from experiencing the anointing of your Holy Spirit. I’m so grateful that we “have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” Amen.