As we use our beautiful gift of communication … talking, sharing on Facebook and other social media, emailing, writing notes and letters … we seldom stop to think about how we’re able to do all this. When God created the world, He gave those made in His own image certain unique privileges. One such gift was being able to commune with Him and one another. Speaking words to express our feelings, thoughts, and views meant we could share our lives in far more intimate ways.

But like in so many other areas, the Fall altered how we communicate. Too often our words to one another accuse, wound, and discourage rather than heal, comfort, and lift up. We lash out in anger and alienate those we could have blessed instead. We slander, ridicule, gossip about, and condemn anyone who stands in the way of us getting what we want. Like the friends of Job, we offer meaningless and hurtful advice. No wonder James, the brother of Jesus, described the tongue as “a fire, a world of iniquity that defiles the whole body … an unruly evil, full of deadly poison” (3:6, 8).

When God used words to create the earth, they were creative and life-giving. Throughout Scripture we see His intention was to encourage, comfort, restore, build up, and bless. Even His words of correction were offered with the hope that His people would respond positively and be changed for the better.

Judging by how many verses address our gift of speech, God cares very deeply about how we use it. Here’s why: “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21). We can use it as God does, to restore and build up relationships or we can use it as a weapon of pain and destruction. As Jesus pointed out in Matthew 12:34, our speech is always a reflection of what resides in our hearts. It clearly indicates the spiritual health of our soul.

When we’re angry or hurt or just having a bad day, we quickly forget all we’ve learned from Scripture. We ignore the fact that God wants us to reflect His nature in every area of our lives … including what we choose to say to another. James points out the disconnect in a stinging rebuke: “With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on” (James 3:9-10, the Message).

Our problem is a thoroughly human one. Like the Austrian psychotherapist Alfred Adler observed, “It is always easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.” We must remind ourselves often of who we are in the world and how God would have us behave among those who are watching. This is the value of Scripture. It holds up a mirror for us, so we can see whether our reflection is consistent with our new nature in Christ or not. It’s not enough to know what Scriptures teaches. In chapter 1 James says, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. The man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.” (vv. 22, 25-26).

These are harsh words, but oh so needed today. We’re communicating more than ever before, often with people from around the world. As we send out our scathing attacks or our quick but deadly quips that demean and insult those we don’t agree with, we are declaring to the world that we think and act just like them. We may be religious, but our religion is worthless in terms of pointing them to the Savior.

James mentions two kinds of “wisdom” in chapter three. One is carnal and comes from our sinful nature. “Such wisdom does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.” But there’s another wisdom that comes from God. It is “first of all pure; then peaceloving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness” (vv. 15, 17-18).

This doesn’t mean we can never disagree with someone else. It doesn’t mean we have to ignore our convictions for the sake of keeping the peace at all costs. But it does mean we need to thoughtfully weigh what we say, carefully choosing when we say it. Our speech should be respectful and offered in the hope that we can come to a better understanding with the other person. Before sharing what we want to say or write we can ask the following: Is it true? Is it helpful in building a better relationship? Does it keep the door open for further conversation on the subject? Believe me, I know the temptation to deliver a funny quip with wit and sarcasm – aimed at humiliating our enemy for what he believes. I’ve had to keep a tight rein on my tongue lots of times when scrolling through social media. But knowing I represent the Lord Jesus … the One who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens, the One full of grace and truth … I must hold up the mirror of Scripture and remind myself what I should look like in terms of my speech, my conduct, and the condition of my heart.  

Throughout the New Testament the writers consistently remind us to be careful about how we use our gift of communication. If we squander it, using it for carnal ends rather than to glorify Him, we will answer for it. Jesus warns in Matthew 12:36-37, “I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

The beautiful gift of speech we’ve received can be a means of bringing people together and pointing them to God. Our words have the power to help, heal, and restore what is broken. But the gift can also be used to do the devil’s work. The apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:29-30 (the Message) summarizes our responsibility: “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.”

Help me to put this into practice, Lord! “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)