Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.                 (William Arthur Ward)

One day, as Jesus was on His way to Jerusalem with His disciples, they were met by ten lepers. Recognizing Him as the miracle worker, the leprous men began to shout, begging Him to have pity on them. He immediately told them to go to the priests to be checked out. His intention was to heal them all as they made their way there.

In their excitement to get on with their lives, to return to normal society, the men didn’t think to turn around and thank Jesus … except one. “One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him” (Luke 17:15-16).

More often than not, we forget to thank those who have, out of mercy and love, made a tremendous difference in our lives. A few years ago I felt prompted to thank my mother, who at that time was 87. What’s significant about this letter, which appears in its entirety below, is its timing. While elderly, my mother wasn’t yet experiencing full-blown dementia. She could read and appreciate all I shared with her. I would guess she read it more than once, savoring each compliment, chucking at each memory. If I’d waited much longer, it would’ve been a futile exercise.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”

I know it blessed my mother to receive this letter. Now a mother myself, I know how encouraging gratitude from a child can be. But I also received a blessing from the exercise. It was good for me to recall the many ways she sowed good things into my life, things that remain with me to this day.

I share my letter with the hope that God will prompt you to send an encouraging word to someone who invested love and showed support for you at some point in your life. I pray you will do it soon … before it’s too late to be appreciated.

February 2003

Dear Mom:

I was thinking that it might be a neat thing to try to set down on paper some of my best memories from childhood. In the process of remembering, I will be able to let you know the things I most appreciated about you as my mom.

First of all, as that little book said that I gave you, I always felt loved. In a world like ours, that is saying a lot! I always knew that you (and Dad) were glad I was in the family; I didn’t feel I had to compete or perform in a certain way to gain your approval. Gary and I felt valued, like we were the most important thing in your life, apart from Dad of course. You were never too busy to talk to us and you always listened with great interest. I knew you were “on my side” no matter what the issue was.

This was especially evident in that incident in third grade when Joyce, Querida, and I got in so much trouble for walking home during last recess. You never questioned my account of what happened (why we felt justified to do that) as many mothers would have. And while you didn’t protest or interfere with the school’s discipline, you still supported me throughout the two-month ordeal. I can’t tell you how secure that made me feel.

From my perspective, you were the greatest mom possible. You let me have just about any pet I wanted (dogs, cats, toads, baby pheasants, rabbits, mice, and in Gary’s case, even snakes). You didn’t complain about the extra cost and care, and the mess that such pets brought into the house. And when Dad surprised me with my own horse for my 11^th birthday, I was thrilled beyond words. Did I ever tell the two of you how much that meant to me? Probably not, as I was a pretty self-centered child. Please accept my belated thanks!

You seemed to be a good combination of discipline and fun. You were definitely “permission granting” but I don’t think you were too far on the permissive side. I can remember times you drew clear lines and stood your ground because you were concerned about my health or safety, or you wanted to reinforce some principle you believed in. I always respected you when you didn’t give in to me, although I probably complained loudly at the time.

I remember how you always wanted to provide the “nice things” (the cultural parts of life) for Gary and me. Too bad I wasn’t better at learning the piano. If I had been more disciplined to practice I could have learned it well enough to play for my own enjoyment. I wish I had seen the value of that back then. I recognize that the piano lessons, ballet and tap lessons, all the other lessons I started but didn’t finish for one reason or another were paid for by your expert management of our family finances and sometimes by you taking on extra cleaning jobs outside the home. Thanks for trying to instill in us an appreciation for good literature, poetry, art, and academic study. While we may not have seemed very interested at the time, I think our lives have reflected your influence, don’t you? Neither Gary nor I have led typical, Midwestern lifestyles. So many of our adventures can be traced back to your efforts to make sure we saw “more” of the world.

I don’t remember feeling a lot of anger or rebellion towards you during my teen years. You were one of those rare moms who could “let go” gradually and trust me to make good decisions. That was a special gift and I think I recognized it somewhat, even then. Now, looking back, I can praise you even more for it. Well done!

Along the way you taught me a lot about life. Mostly you taught by example but sometimes you spoke of what you believed too. Hard work, dedication to family, how to manage finances, kindness and tolerance towards others, pursuing my dreams, trusting God, being spontaneous, taking time for people, keeping a clean house, supporting my husband and children, and so many other things I’ve learned from watching you. I hope you know how much God has used you for good.

I have had my challenges in life, like everyone else, but overall it has been a wonderful journey. I enjoyed a rich, supportive beginning because of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Mom. May you be encouraged as you look back on what you accomplished by God’s grace. May He bless you and give you peace.

Love, Jeanne

Giving thanks is good for the soul. So who will you thank today?

If you didn’t have supportive or loving parents, recall the other good people God sent into your life to make a difference. If you can’t think of any people you need to thank, sit down and write a letter of gratitude to God. As your loving, gracious, merciful, protective, and all-wise Father, He’s been caring for you your entire life. Don’t be like the nine lepers who thoughtlessly charged ahead with their healing. Turn back, throw yourself at Jesus’ feet, and thank Him at the top of your lungs. After all, where would you be without Him?