When we started our accountability group a few years ago none of us had any idea what lay ahead. But my two friends and I felt led to join our lives together, agreeing to meet once a week to share, read Scripture, and pray together. I’m sure glad we did.

All of us have already weathered some severe storms. We’ve waded through deep water and needed the hands extended to keep us from going under the current. The spiritual support we’ve received has made the effort of meeting well worth it. When He put the idea on our hearts, God knew what lay ahead. It was His desire that we have the face-to-face encouragement found only in the intimacy of a group of spiritual friends.

When things are going well, Christians have a tendency to view accountability groups as a good but optional spiritual resource. With our lives so full already, we can’t imagine taking time for yet another meeting. But when the roof suddenly caves in and we are plunged into darkness without warning, it’s not just good to have spiritual comrades to call on. It’s essential. It’s at those times we find out we’re not self-sufficient after all. We need the comfort of someone else identifying with us in our pain. A simple hug can reassure us that we’re not in this faith-walk alone.

When small children feel anxious and afraid, they want an adult they trust to stay with them. As Christian parents, we’ve all tried to reassure them by reminding them of God’s presence with them even when we’re not there. We say something like “You don’t need to be afraid. God is here with you, and He’ll take care of you.” But these truthful words seldom suffice. The child’s response is to plead even louder, “But I need someone with skin on.”

Children instinctively know what we forget as we get older: God has designed His family to be a hands-on, personal affair. He gifts us to reach out to one another in love — to be His voice, His hands, and His feet in an often scary and stressful world. We aren’t meant to live out our Christian life without the support and encouragement of other members of His body. Our need for each other is by design. As the apostle Peter wrote in 1 Peter 4, “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms … so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ” (vv. 10-11).

Sometimes we think the “great” Christian leaders were so gifted and full of faith, they didn’t need the support of other believers. But that isn’t true. The apostle Paul was far from a lone wolf. Because he was in constant danger he had to rely even more on his co-workers in the spread of the Gospel. When we read through the New Testament we see he received lots of help. It’s clear he could not have done what he did without their aid and encouragement. They prayed for him, gave money and offered hospitality when needed, traveled with him on his missionary journeys, even hid him when his life was threatened. Fellow believers went to prison with him and suffered beatings for the sake of the gospel as he did.

It was a reciprocal give and take of gifts and help that was all for the glory of God. And that’s what God wants to see in us as well … a mutual sharing of our lives so that His kingdom can grow. Accountability groups enable us to live out what Scripture teaches in a more effective and powerful way. “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Small groups can come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. But there are key purposes that should be at work in all of them. They include:

1. To remind each other of God’s faithful promises in whatever circumstances we find ourselves (see Colossians 3:16).
2. To speak the truth in love to one another, especially when we are in danger of straying from His way (see Ephesians 4:15 and Galatians 6:1-2).
3. To encourage each other to embrace – not run from – spiritual challenges and to apply a scriptural solution to every problem we face (see Philippians 1:27-28).

Paul thanked God for the believers in Philippi because of their partnership. “It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me” (Philippians 1:7).

C.S. Lewis captured the essence of spiritual friendship. “True friends don’t spend time gazing into each other’s eyes. They may show great tenderness toward each other, but they face in the same direction – towards common projects, interests, goals – above all, toward a common Lord.”

For Christians, it’s all about Him, isn’t it? Our common Lord. He’s the reason we want to walk out our faith in sincerity, love, power, and humility. We want Him to receive all the glory because He is worthy. He has designed His kingdom to be a place where we can support one another to be and do all He has desired for us. Such ministry isn’t meant to be “hit and run,” as we see in so many churches today, but a real relationship fostered through mutual respect and a genuine sharing of our hearts. It takes time, that’s for sure. But what doesn’t take time if it’s truly beneficial and long-lasting?

It’s a beautiful picture of unity, mutual edification, and spiritual strength when we can bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. I hope, if you are not in one already, you will pray about forming an accountability group in which you can grow in your faith and help others grow in theirs. It’s a place where we can learn how to be “God with skin on” for each other. It’s not a sign of weakness to need the fellowship and spiritual support of other believers. It’s a sign that we understand how God made us: For deep and meaningful relationships that begin in Him and reach out to those around us.

I’ll end with my mother’s favorite poem about friendship. The author is the English novelist George Eliot. To have this kind of friend even once in our lives is a treasure so valuable it cannot be calculated.

“A friend is one to whom one may pour out the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that gentle hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”